Creating a family mission statement can bring unity to your family. When my kids were younger I read Stephen Covey’s book The 7 Habits of the Highly Effective Family. The second habit is beginning with the end in mind. His book encourages families to have a family mission statement. Those of us who have worked in the professional world are familiar with the purpose of mission statements. They give purpose, focus, and openly state the goal of organization. 

Likewise a family mission statement can help us come together and have a goal for our family. But unlike a company that you join, we have always been part of our family. And each family member can help shape and create your family mission statement.  Stephen Covey shares that the process of writing and creating your family mission statement is just as important as having one. Creating a mission statement would be perfect for a family night. And quite possible a couple of family nights. I love what Stephan Covey shares: 

“No involvement, no commitment.”

And we want our kids committed to our mission statement. This isn’t a list of rules from mom and dad. It’s a focus for the whole family. 

How To Create A Family Mission Statement

You want start when everyone is in a good mood. Hopefully family night makes everyone excited. You might even want to have a special treat to munch on while you are brainstorming. Remember that everyone has a voice and we need to listen and let everyone share their ideas. I found it was best to ask open ended questions and write down the responses, sometimes even asking kids to repeat what they said so I didn’t miss anything. I could tell my kids loved having a voice and say.

You could start out explaining WHAT a mission statement is to your kids. Maybe even share a mission statement from mom or dad’s work.Then let them know that you really want to know what they think. It would be best if you and your spouse hold off on sharing your ideas to give your kids a chance to share their ideas. Be sure to write every idea down. I can’t even remember the off the wall ideas my 3 year old had. Her older brothers would giggle and I could tell they didn’t think her ideas had anything to do with our family, but they do. Every idea is important. She wanted to be a part of it. 

Questions to prompt your children might include:

• What kind of family do we want to be?
• How do we want people to feel when they are in our home?
• What values are important to our family?
• What are our family goals?

It’s really important to not rush this process. Especially if you have teenagers. You might want to share ideas and come back to them the next week, giving everyone a chance to ponder some more about your mission statement. Stephen Covey suggest you might even want to work on this while on a family trip. You could talk during the evening and hike or ski during the day as part of your vacation. 

And make sure your kids know you are really listening. Restate what they said and clarify that you really understand them. This act of confirming will help them feel validated and will better voice their ideas, which will instill confidence and possible better help them understand how they feel. If things become tense or stressful be sure to take a break and come back together when things calm down.

Once we had our ideas written down I would then group them together by ideas. This made it easier to see where we agreed on things and to combine ideas so that everyone could contribute. I found that some ideas were very similar. Remember we want our kids to own this mission statement. It should reflect everyone’s ideas. Unlike an employee mission statement, we are together for the long haul. This mission statement needs to reflect your family’s ideas and feelings. Our kids aren’t adjusting to our vision. We are becoming one by having a focus on what we all want. And if gaming or jokes are important to your kids maybe you will include that  in your statement.

After our ideas are clustered or grouped together we started picking out things that were MOST important. We didn’t want our statement to be pages so we picked out things that were essential to our family. It was really fun to see our kids work together and decided what was most important to our family. And I think quite a few of my 3 year old’s idea didn’t make the cut. But she was so excited about what her brothers and parents thought she didn’t even notice. 

Once we had the meat of our statement I got to writing it out. This process took lots of crossing out and rewording so that everyone felt like it was the way we wanted it. I love that we were all able to share ideas and have parts of statement from different ideas. I couldn’t tell you now which sentences or ideas can from which family members. Because we were able to come together and blend our ideas into one idea. 

I could tell my kids felt empowered when they would tell me I should change the sentence and I would. They liked knowing this was really theirs. After everyone felt satisfied I had everyone sign our revised draft. Be sure to date it. I know we will probably rewrite this in another 5 years as our family changes. 

After your mission statement is finished you still aren’t done. Choose a way to display it in your home. You can frame it or hang it on the fridge. You can even make copies for family members to carry with them. They can place a copy in their notebook, scriptures, or bathroom mirror. And remember we don’t use this to hang over someone’s head or to instill guilt. But have it hung so you can reflect about it’s meaning. Have it serve as a reminder on what YOU can do better to become the family you want to be. Maybe your family mission statement mentions a certain value, like being honest. While being firm or kind you can remind family members, with love, that honest is a priority in your family. You can read ours below. 

I know having a family goal or focused purpose will help your family to feel unified. It will give clarity to what your family is all about. It’s always easier to reach goals when you know what they are. I love our family mission statement and the power and stability it gives my kids. We are teaching them to begin with the end in mind. This makes easier to look at the big picture. Remember teaching our children is more important that having them just do what we say. Understanding and growth is more important than blind obedience. It’s hard when kids don’t really understand the ‘why’ behind our rules or standards. Hopefully your mission statement will help them understand what is essential. 

Mission statements provide growth and focus on what is truly important. I challenge you to create a family mission statement. Take time to listen to your family and find out what’s important to them. I would highly recommend the book The 7 Habits of Highly Effective Families.  I like to re-read it because it helps me become a better parent. I want to be more like Stephen and Sandra Covey. I know making small goals and trying to improve everyday will help me grow. And I would love to hear YOUR family mission statement. Copy it in the comments or tag me on social media. Good luck and remember to enjoy the process! 

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