I wanted to share this Sunday Thought with you today. As I was rereading and studying the conference talks there was one that stood out to me. It’s Never Too Early and It’s Never Too Late by Elder Bradley D. Foster. I love this conference talk!!! It speaks to my soul. I love it when he tells us we need to be engaged in “intentional parenting”. We need to parent with a purpose. We learn from our Savior that we need to do teach our children to understand the gospel principals. They need to know the why of the gospel and then need the chance to feel the spirit. Elder Foster goes on to share a story that touches my heart…
On one particular Tuesday evening, I interviewed a young man named Pablo, from Mexico City, who wanted to serve a mission. I asked him about his testimony and his desire to serve. His answers to my questions were perfect. Then I asked about his worthiness. His answers were exact. In fact, they were so good, I wondered, “Maybe he doesn’t understand what I’m asking him.” So I rephrased the questions and determined that he knew exactly what I meant and was completely honest.
I was so impressed with this young man that I asked him, “Pablo, who was it that helped you come to this point in your life standing so uprightly before the Lord?”
He said, “My dad.”
I said, “Pablo, tell me your story.”
Pablo continued: “When I was nine, my dad took me aside and said, ‘Pablo, I was nine once too. Here are some things you may come across. You’ll see people cheating in school. You might be around people who swear. You’ll probably have days when you don’t want to go to church. Now, when these things happen—or anything else that troubles you—I want you to come and talk to me, and I’ll help you get through them. And then I’ll tell you what comes next.’”
“So, Pablo, what did he tell you when you were 10?”
“Well, he warned me about pornography and dirty jokes.”
“What about when you were 11?” I asked.
“He cautioned me about things that could be addictive and reminded me about using my agency.”
Here was a father, year after year, “line upon line; here a little, and there a little,”10 who helped his son not only hear but also understand. Pablo’s father knew our children learn when they are ready to learn, not just when we are ready to teach them. I was proud of Pablo when we submitted his missionary application that night, but I was even prouder of Pablo’s dad.
I want to be like Pablo’s father. I want to communicate with my children and help them understand the gospel. Here are some simple things I am trying to do to help my children. They may seem small. Or even common. But as I strive to do these things I can see a difference.
- Family Prayer. We pray as a family every morning and every night. We pray before dinner as a family. My husband and I pray and show our children how to pray. We give our children opportunities to pray. We remind our children of others we need to pray for. We are not perfect in these things but we are trying. Sometimes our morning prayers are me calling on a child to pray while I am driving to school. Sometimes are prayers include children wrestling or complaining that someone has their eyes open. (And clearly more than one child does) But we have them. And we don’t assume that our children are too young to pray. I love hearing Georgiana pray for her sick brother asking Jesus to help him. She is learning from a young age to seek out her Father in Heaven. I love hearing the thoughts they must be pondering and thinking of. I love that we can pray for others and talk about how prayers are answered. When my friend’s surgery went well and he was healing my children were so happy to hear that he was doing better because we had been praying for him as a family. They are learning to think of others as we pray for Grandma Nan who recently lost her husband. Family prayer has blest our family so much.
- Family Scripture Study. We are reading The New Testament for Latter Day Saint Families right now. We started reading it in August 2013. We are in Romans right now. We just read a little section each day, not even a whole chapter. But we are striving to read every night. And after we read we talk about it as a family. We explain things. We bear testimony to invite the spirit. We ask questions and involve our children in the discussions. Some nights it is really wonderful. Last night, not so much. Draco is 7 1/2 and preparing for baptism. I was asking him questions about baptism and what we had read. He was working on timing his farts when giving an answer. I wasn’t feeling the spirit at all. But we kept going. Some nights they might not get spiritually fed, but they are learning the scriptures are important to our family.
- Family Night. We have been trying hard to pick lessons and topics that will help our children. I try to make our lessons fun and short. Treats are always involved. As we set aside time once a week, and our consistent with it, we are being blessed. We have more opportunities to feel the spirit as a family. I also find a great love for each other.
- One on One time. My hubby and I have been trying to spend one on one time with our children. Especially when one of them seems to be having a hard time. This is a great time to bond and have fun doing something your child likes. Conversations come more easily and we are able to talk about real challenges or hard topics. Grady told me he felt impressed to talk about same sex marriage with our oldest. Turns out he knew what homosexuality meant. Apparently he read the word in the dictionary. They were able to talk about it and the importance of being kind and loving everyone. I am so thankful my husband was able to follow the prompting of the spirit and talk to our son.
- Open Communication. It’s critical that we talk to our children honestly and frequently. The other week I called my oldest son in to my room and talked to him before bed. I told the other boys to give us some time together. We have already had a talk about sex and pornography. But those talks need to keep happening. I asked him if he had seen any pornography lately. I was happy to hear that he hadn’t. I asked if his friends ever talk about “bad pictures” or about sex. Luckily that isn’t happening yet either. I told him he could talk to be when it does. We went over what to do when we see pornography. We continued to talk about other important things. I made sure to listen to what he was saying. After awhile he looked into my eyes and told me he loved me more than I knew. From one corner of the universe all the way to the other. It was a tender moment. I loved looking into his shinning eyes. I love that we can talk about him and what is going on in his life.
- Family Dinner. We are pretty good about eating as a family every night. Sometimes Grady can’t be there, but we make the best of it. We don’t have electronics at the table, except Draco who uses my phone to figure out his insulin. We share our favorite part of our day. I love that we can focus on a positive thing, learn more about each other and practice our listening skills. Sometimes our kids want to leave right after we eat but we pull them back so we can talk as a family. Especially when Dad has homework to do that night. I love hearing my kids joke about inside jokes with each other. I love how Georgiana joins in laughing.
- Family Fun. When we play board games as a family or make a dessert together we strengthen our family bonds. We talk and laugh with each other. I know my children love when we spend time together. That time is precious to me too. I am trying to teach them that if we can work hard real fast, or not draw out our chores, we have more time to do fun things together. I am so thankful for our fun family memories.
Some people have made weird comments about my kids being too young to understand important things as I have sought to teach them things. They don’t see the value of teaching young babies or children about spiritual matters. But I know it’s never too early. When we give our children a solid foundation we can help them learn the principals that will help them become more grounded. As they learn who they are and how much they are loved they will have more confidence to stand up for what it right. Even very young children can learn principals of faith and prayer. Another thing I love about this talk is that it is never too late. If there is something you want your family to improve on, make a change
If you want to start having family night or make morning prayers a priority it’s never too late. I challenge you to find a way to strengthen your family bonds and improve teaching opportunities.
May we all strive to be “intentional parents” who make effort to see the big pictures and focus on what is important. May we show more mercy and patience with our children. May we spend more time helping them to understand the why of the things we do. And may we show them that they are important to us. I know doing the things I mentioned above will bless our families with happiness. It doesn’t matter if you belong to another faith or are a single parent. These principals bring families closer together and closer to God.
And if you are looking for a great video to talk about and focus on why we need a Savior please check out this new video.
What do you do to help bring your family closer together or closer to God? Leave a comment and let us know…
